Where's the music?

My oldest brother, who rarely calls, called me a few days ago to ask why I hadn't released any new music. I realized in that moment that if I owe him an answer, I owe it to everyone else who's supported me as well.

The hardest thing I've ever made myself do is learn. I spent a long time doing only what I was good at, keeping from any activities that would put me at the bottom of a food chain. Yet here I am, the oldest I've ever been -- and nowhere near an expert at my chosen profession -- here I am happily learning.

Insecurities are in no way new to me, but to have new insecurities is a uniquely challenging feat. To have to reinvent myself or find myself and walk amid the "I've been doing this for years," crowd demands a new kind of confidence that I'm building at the very same time as my skill level. And so these words to you are in fact me walking myself through my juggling act. If you can picture what that might literally look like, you can relate to how challenging it is to actually do. 

I've found that I'm a decent writer -- which has translated pretty well into song-writing and I have very little trouble with originality and creative direction. I'm still however, working on both my literal and figurative voice in the studio. That means communicating my ideas to an engineer and having the confidence to trust and fight for the sounds I fall in love with.

Music releases have come to see a slowed pace as I rediscover myself and my sound, but more importantly as I continue to build the courage to share it. And I find that in this process I'm changing. I like new music, new books, I like different types of clothes and even better types of boys. The point here is that I'm learning myself as well as the craft and I'm getting better. I need for everyone to trust the process as much as I do . The better stuff is coming soon. Sooner than you think.

LOVE,

            Mballa